Fine so far

This is somewhat of a place-holder message. The good news: PSA is down to 2.0, down from about 8. (This is the first time it’s headed south this year, I think.) This is the ADT treatment doing its thing. I’m generally feeling fine after the first chemo this afternoon. I have just slightly sore muscles, a bit like having been to the gym. Also subtly out of it; not unusually, though! Other than these hard to pin down symptoms, pretty good.

[This par was pasted in from an email, so may look a bit squashed up.) The chemo goes in three week cycles for prostate cancer. (Lucky breast cancer patients get it every week.) Apparently one can feel pretty ordinary in the middle week. This is because one’s red and white blood cell count are then at their lowest. That is also the week in which one is most vulnerable to infection. (The immune system is compromised by the chemo, so colds, flu etc. are something to avoid more than usually. I asked about going to meetings in that week, and the nurse said, if you know that the people you’re meeting aren’t sick, go ahead.
Anyway, I have lots of information to process. Will be in touch as I digest it all.

Energy matters

Of course Father’s Day is a commercialised rort and an excuse for selling more stuff. Nonetheless, siblings, and anyone without a dad handy, will probably be feeling a pang today. I still have one of Dad’s old shirts, and his dressing gown. More practically  I have been honouring our Dad in a practical way, by doing a spreadsheet about energy use.

(To bring non-family members up to speed, our Dad, David, was an engineer. Toward the end of his career, he developed a particular interest in energy conservation. Unfortunately, as in other things, he was ahead of his time. In the eighties, most people thought fossil fuel energy was cheap, and would last forever. Peak oil and global warming were unheard of out here.)

Dad therefore would have been totally across my spreadsheet, which bears the catchy title “Cooling & heating costs with split system versus separate evaporative cooling + gas ducted heating” (Aron, 2018, unpublished.) You may not find this magnum opus in a bookshop near you, if there still is one. So I can upload it to Google Drive, if anyone is interested. (No? Fair enough.)

I will prevail on your patience with a précis. We have to replace our 15 year old evaporative cooler with a newer system. This has opened a bit of a Pandora’s box. Should we replace it with another evaporative system? Or go reverse cycle ducted? This would use more power, but wouldn’t use any extra water. What are the comparative costs of these systems?

This begs another interesting question. How much water do evaporative systems use, anyway? The answers are complicated. Modern evaporative coolers recycle their water. They can’t do this indefinitely, however, as the salts in the water become concentrated. This shortens the life of the cooling pads. The point at which a cooler will dump its water varies between brands, the salinity of the water, etc., and is just about impossible to find out. Different manufacturers’ web sites mostly say: it depends.

I consulted Dr Google on this matter and found two figures for water consumption of evaporative coolers: 58.6  and 113 litres per hour. The first is contained in a paper written under the auspices of the Federal Government’s Water Efficiency Labelling and Standards Scheme. (The link points to the .pdf format.) The second is derived from post to the Whirlpool discussion list. I included both figures in my spreadsheet, as Scenarios 1 and 2. (As you do.)

How much energy do different types of coolers and heaters use? This is much easier to find out. Sustainability Victoria has useful summaries for cooling and heating .

Those still awake will be on the edge of their seats, I know, so here is the executive summary of what I found:

  1. Reverse cycle would be cheaper for us, by between $239-$891 dollars per year.
  2. Reverse cycle systems are more expensive to purchase than evaporative. What would the payback period be? I did two calculations; one guesstimated the extra cost of a ducted system at $4,000, the second at $8,000. Accounting for multiple variables, the payback period varies from 4 to 33 years!

Anyway, we have pretty much decided to go with another evaporative unit. This is for non-financial reasons. My beloved has sinus problems, and the extra humidity of the evaporative is better for her. We can also use our existing ceiling ducts. Refrigerant system ducts are smaller, so we would have to have some new holes cut in our ceilings, and the old ducts covered over.

This is what we were leaning toward in the first place, but we now know why this is the right answer – for us. I hope Dad would approve.

Morning update & instapoems

As noted in the last post, I had the first Bicalutamide last night. I felt fine; maybe slightly dizzy: if so, it was very subtle. I slept well, and all was normal when I got up. After having hung out and brought in a load of washing, booked the car in for a service, made a phone call, driven down to Maling Road for a coffee and to get some meat, and other miscellaneous fiddling around, it still is. My beloved was going to take the day off today, just in case. However, this morning, I said “no need”. (I reminded her that I am a card-carrying wimp.)

Having thus gained your attention, here are a few instas.

Niobium

I’m glad I saw
the bust of Nefertiti
how many eyes
have stared at hers
felt her in the room
heart stop
to see her
blink

Technetium

Connoisseurs of the nature strip
delight in discards
rescue old crap
from lonely landfill
have antennae for what might
one day come in handy
they are optimists
creatives
adoption agents
suburban flâneurs
repurposers
they give the humblest object
a look over
then resume their
eternal rounds.
These old codgers all have
honorary commissions in
the army of utility.

Mercury

Words prayer flags
moved by hope
fluttered by love
prevailing breeze of habit
leaches colours
imperceptibly
do they mean the same
answered or not

 

Dr Parente mk. II

At the risk of repeating myself, there was good and not so good news from the appointment with Dr Parente today.

(Briefly to recap: the PSA had risen in spite of the radiation treatment. So there was obviously something going on with the cancer. The purpose of the scan I had last week was to reveal what this was and where it was.)

The first piece of good news – and it is a big one – is that there are no metastases in the organs. The ones he mentioned, the lungs and liver, are clear. (I had heard that mets in the latter organ are particularly undesirable.)

The second is something I have thought of, not something mentioned by Dr P, so all the necessary caveats apply. However, the mets that were there in the last scan, in the left hip and left femur, aren’t there any more. So it would appear that the radiation treatment was successful in getting rid of those mets (or spots, as they refer to them).

The less good news is that there are five new spots, all in bone:

  • sternum
  • rib (right hand side)
  • lower thoracic spine
  • L4 vertebra
  • left sacrum (AKA the tailbone).

(I am inferring that these are all still small. I base this on the facts that they weren’t there at the last scan, and I don’t have any symptoms or pain.)

The PSA has risen a bit more at 8.6, further evidence that things are progressing in an undesirable direction.

So I am starting on conjunct hormone therapy and chemotherapy. The last time I saw him, Dr P did mention a couple of trials that strongly support this combo: STAMPEDE and CHAARTERED . So his view, which we share, is: what are we waiting for? Obviously we have to fire the big gun, as he put it. He rang the hospital pharmacy (Epworth Eastern is literally just up the road) to see if they had a box of Casodex. They did, he wrote me a script, and I have had my first one. I will be taking one of these each day for 28 days. This medication can affect the liver, so I am avoiding alcohol for the duration. (Just when I could have murdered a drink, too!)

In a fortnight I start the chemo part of the treatment:

  1. Zoladex; one injection every 3 months, and
  2. Taxetere (Docetaxel), once every 21 days, for six cycles (i.e. an 18 week course).

I have to have a blood test, and see Dr P, before each chemo session. The consult with him ended quite late, so his practice couldn’t contact the chemo people to make the first appointment. They will do this tomorrow, however, and let me know.

It is all a bit daunting, and a lot of information to process. We both found the consult fairly stressful for these reasons. However, he seems very positive. He feels that, at my age, and with my (relative) fitness, I will get through the chemo easily. Maybe this geeing-up is what oncologists do. However, I am grateful for it, for both our sakes. From here, I am just strapped in for the ride.

I just want things to be as normal, and mundane, as possible. We are taking some quotes for a new cooling system. I went to the Deakin open day yesterday, to investigate doing a course next year. I am going to a session in October about how to write a (non-boring) family history or memoir. I want to go on socialising, listening to music, fiddling around in the garden, and everything I am doing now. Obviously we will have to see how far this is possible.

Bring it on!

Well, I had my appointment with Dr Phillip Parente this afternoon. (He is a medical oncologist, and adjunct clinical associate professor and acting director of cancer services, Eastern Health.) We were both impressed by Phillip. He is very concerned to explain treatment options and considerations clearly so that patients understand the issues. He even drew me a sort of ideas map, explaining that his handwriting is better than that of most doctors (it is). Phillip struck us also as energetic, positive, evidence-based, and fully seized of the need to get a move on. I said that I wanted the most aggressive treatment that he would advise, and this is exactly what he wants too.

He needs to find out whether my condition is low or high volume. The latter is three or four bone spots, or any visceral disease (for example, in the liver or another organ). If this is the case, he will recommend hormone treatment plus chemotherapy. Adjunct therapies like this have significantly extended efficacy over a single treatment. So I won’t need to come back so often to repeat or have it changed over to another drug. (As he put it, I have a lot of tricks in my bag.) It is difficult to say how long the effectiveness of a treatment will be, as individuals respond differently. He thinks that, with my (relative – my word) youth and fitness, I will be able to handle the side effects easily. Low volume disease – the former possibility – can be addressed by hormone treatment alone.

So what happens next? I need another blood test, which I had on the way home. I also need another PSMA PET scan, this one at Epworth Box Hill. Phillip’s practice initially made an appointment for me on Friday afternoon. The scan folk, however, have a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon, so I will be going in then. (I have had one of these scans before, and compared to an MRI, they are a walk in the park. I don’t have to fast – although I do need to be hydrated – I can drive myself there and back, and it the scan is done in a large, open space.) After the scan, I will be seeing Phillip on Monday, when he will discuss what is the most appropriate treatment, and (I hope) start it then.

Watch this space.

 

Workover I

Anyone remember when contemporary music (as it was then) had titles like Anaconda IV?

The title of my post might seem to recall these sententious times. I meant to allude to the more laboured method I have reverted to with the poem below. (The subterranean metaphor is irrestible.) I have been burying it, digging it up, and worrying away at it like – at least the simile is justified – a dog with a bone. At least it is a change from the Instas! Here it is; fingers crossed. (That would have been a good title, come to think of it.)

After this apologia, what forgiveness? Oh for heaven’s sake, just get on with it!

Present laughter

Cherry blossom bloom
intrinsically pink
individual as pearls
solemn as geisha
lovely in their futility

their self-communing
sleigh bell chatter
like music, about only itself
cadenza that can only end
in the bronze peal of spring
the dragon’s breath of summer

Here’s the thing

Apologies everyone. I published this yesterday, but as a page, not a post. So no-one saw it.

I saw Pat Bowden, the radiation oncologist, this morning. The news was, as has been previously, neither the best nor the worst. The takeout: I have to have androgen deprivation therapy (ADT).

In more detail:

  1. the last PSA test was 7.2, more than double the one previous to that, which was 3.4. So just over double in three months means it is obviously heading in the wrong direction.
  2. I will be referred to one of two medical oncologists for the ADT. (Pat thinks they are equally good and experienced with prostate cancer. So it will be whichever of them is available first.)
  3. ADT has been around for about forty years, so is a well established treatment.
  4. ADT works by depriving the cancer of androgen, which is what feeds it. It is basically chemical castration.
  5. ADT is known to have side effects, so I may experience one or more of these:
    1. hot sweats
    2. weight gain (most patients gain 2-3 kilos)
    3. aches and pains
    4. feeling weaker and less energetic
    5. decline in mood
  6. It is delivered in the specialist’s rooms by means of an implant. The implant lasts three months.
  7. ADT gives a median control time of four years until the next treatment. I asked what “control time” meant. It means the cancer being under control, i.e. not changing; see Managing cancer . So with four years being the median, this is the middle value in the range from shortest to longest control time. (Apologies if I have committed a statistical indignity here.)
  8. Should it become uncontrolled, other treatments will be embarked on. As well as the existing treatment options, I could possibly participate in a trial of one or another emerging treatments, should they be suitable.
  9. Cancers which are new to ADT are referred to as “castration naive” (or variations on that). They can then become “castration resistant”, “ADT refractory”, or other jargon that refers to the ADT becoming ineffective.
  10. I was under the impression that this progression (from naive to resistant) was inevitable. However, only a small percentage of castration naive cancers become castration resistant.
  11. New treatments are being developed all the time. As well as this, combinations of existing treatments are being tried very actively, to see if they work better together than singly. One that is potentially relevant for me is ADT in combination with a drug called abiraterone. (Pat, unsurprisingly, knew about this, and had had dinner with the author. See Osterwell, 2017 . You may be asked to register with the site. If so, I can send you a scan of the paper.) This combo has been found to give an absolute (not relative) increase in control of 8% over ADT by itself.
  12. Pat was pretty positive about ADT and my cancer, saying (words to this effect) “It’ll stop it”. In my experience, specialists are not usually so forthright. (You will note he did not use the “C” word. I will settle for stopping it, though!)
  13. I asked Pat what were the three things he would like me to take from the consult. His reply:
    1. We can control cancer for many years;
    2. ADT comes with side effects; and
    3. the treatment paradigm is very dynamic. So there will be new treatments available in a few years not currently available.

I will be going for the most aggressive option that the specialist recommends. Pat’s rooms are going to call both oncologists and see who is available first; I should hear from them in a few days. I still feel fine and intend to go on exercising, socialising, and all the other things I get up to. As my beloved correctly pointed out, it would be advantageous for me to lose a few kilos before starting the treatment, in case it does cause weigh gain. I will give it a go! Generally, I feel slightly daunted, but relieved, oddly, that I have a clear treatment path to follow.

The blazing world

Before I return this book to the library, overdue (oh, the shame!), I wanted to write a brief notice of it.

The book is The blazing world, by Siri Hustvedt. The following, an excerpt from the Publishers Weekly review, will give you the flavour:

Art isn’t easy, and according to Hustvedt (What I Loved), the art market can be especially rough on women who are over 40, overweight, and overtly intellectual, which is why the novel’s protagonist, Harriet “Harry” Burden, a frustrated artist and art dealer’s widow, exhibits her artwork using male stand-ins in a performance art experiment that goes terribly awry. Suffering from deep depression after her husband’s death, followed by extreme elation, Harry relocates to Brooklyn, where she produces modern masterpieces dotted with clues to her identity, then shows them under a male collaborator’s name.

Choosing this plot sets up a series of interlocking themes: the male domination of the art world (particularly in New York), the vapidity and shallowness of that world, and the nature of gender and artistic originality. Harry’s plan is to pass off her work as that of the three male artists, then reveal herself as the creator. Echoes of the Ern Malley hoax abound. It won’t surprise anyone to know that her plans backfire spectacularly.

The book purports to be a series of diary entries and interviews with the protagonists in the hoax and those involved with them. These are preceded by an introduction from a fictional academic who has edited and compiled these texts, and whose commentary on the story becomes one of the sources. Yes, folks, we are in post-modern territory. The author has (literally in Harry’s case) shuffled off, leaving the presence of an absence. There are footnotes. The multiple narrators frequently contradict each other’s version of events. This technique is the same as that used in Faulkner’s As I lay dying, and is used with very nearly the same degree of virtuosity.

This all might sound about as enjoyable as a bowl of cold sick, but it is really good fun. Hustvedt realises the character of Harry in particular vividly and plausibly. The latter is quite a polymath, being knowledgeable about Margaret Cavendish, Edmund Husserl, WTH Myers, William James, and much more. Minor characters like the hippy-dippy Sweet Autumn Pinkney are much more than caricatures; her brief appearances add a great deal of texture to the narrative. Hustvedt lectures in psychology in addition to her writing career. This discipline is personified in the character of Harry’s analyst; it also possibly informs the psychological insight Hustvedt brings to the characterisation. I thought of Henry James, particularly The portrait of a Lady; the males are either well-meaning but ineffectual, or cold-hearted users and betrayers. Like that book as well, there is no neat resolution in which the loose ends are tied up and every dog gets a bone.

I can’t do more than hint at the multiple strands, rich content, and ingenious construction of this book. The overriding thing for me was the sense I had that Hustvedt enjoyed writing it. Forget the post-modern stuff; you will enjoy it too, and want to find out what really happened. Good luck with that!

Instapoems III

Argon

Min Kym talks to Brahms

he is intense

can the evening

not end?

She takes her leave

walks home;

next day his cigar

haunts her gown

Neon

The bones of a sign frame

a rectangle of sky

lost without the words

it sent constant

as a lighthouse

Astatine

The glittering city

glows like an irradiated snake

river of souls

in unchanging flow

necessity moves gently

to the conclusion

implicit in the cell

all we do stops

along the way

that never rests

the life that takes

us over for itself.

 

Geek central

I have been enjoying listening to the Naxos Music Library. (Some of this post originally appeared in an email message to my sister.) If one joins the sheet music library IMSLP, at a cost of about $20 for a year, one gets access to the Naxos Music Library! This is quite vast, over a million tracks. They are not all Naxos recordings, either; NML seems to have licensing agreements with a lot of other labels. There are only two drawbacks that I have found:

  1. it doesn’t support gapless playback – only an issue with a composer like Wagner or Puccini, where one section segues into another. (I had a free trial of Deezer for three months, and that doesn’t do gapless either; at least for Android.)
  2. it doesn’t have Chromecast capability. However Apple households are in the wrong ecosystem to use Chromecast.

I can play it back through my all-analogue valve stereo through a slightly Heath Robinson arrangement, which I describe below. (A modern stereo could probably use Bluetooth.)

I first tried casting a Chrome tab to my Chromecast. This worked fine, but the sound was a bit harsh. Enter a bit of slightly old-hat magic called MHL. This is something I only stumbled on when looking through the user manual for my Cambridge Audio disc player. MHL is an audio standard; I had never heard of it until a few weeks ago. It answers the present purpose, however, in allowing me to connect my old Samsung tablet to the disc player. Why do I want to put a digital audio stream through the disc player? The latter has a good digital-to-analog converter, which removes the hardness from a digital audio stream.

To use MHL one needs stereo equipment and a device (phone or tablet) that are both compatible. Look under “Home theatre” and “Mobile” on this list to see if you have the magic double. A HDMI cable and a special connector is also required to link everything up. The latter is el cheapo; I just got this from eBay, for about $12.

It is a bit of a fiddle to hook it all up, but not difficult:

  • plug one end of the HDMI cable into one end of the connector, and the other into the disc player
  • connect the mini HDMI cable from the connector into the tablet or phone
  • scroll through the HDMI inputs on the disc player until it is looking at the correct one
  • on the tablet or phone, connect to the IMSLP web site
  • navigate to Naxos Music Library and follow that link
  • in NML, select a piece of music and play it.

IMSLP membership only entitles you to the lower sound quality from NML. However, I think the sound is very good. Streaming music eats up a lot of battery on the old tablet; I just start with it fully charged.